And The Oscar Goes To…

It’s hard to believe that it was just last year that U2 gave a brilliant heartfelt performance of Ordinary Love in front of the world at the Oscars only to be bamboozled by the empty suits that voted for Frozen’s, Let it Go. That was last year. U2 is not up for an Oscar this year, but we won’t let that huge oversight stop us here at To make up for last year’s fiasco, I present U2 at the Oscars….THE ENVELOPE PLEASE.

Category: Best guy posing as the biggest manager of the biggest rock band in the world?

And the Oscar goes to: Guy Oseary

It appears Guy thinks he only works for Madonna these days. How many Guy’s does Madonna need?;) 1st, Guy Richie and now Guy Oseary. If McGuinness hasn’t eaten himself into a gluten coma, call his ass up to set Oseary straight. This lack of promotion would never happen on McGuinness’ watch. Never!

Category: Least athletic member of U2?

And the Oscar goes to: Bono

No brainer, really. When Bono looks at the world, it’s usually through tire spokes hanging around his neck from a dislodged Schwinn and his elbow hanging out of his ass. Bono, needs to Walk On…not the song, that needed to be retired a decade ago, I’m talking about choosing a safer mode of transportation….like the Lark.

Category: Most Underrated Song on SOI?

And the Oscar goes to: California

EBW this and The Miracle that. Great songs, but California has swagger like you read about. Don’t let the polished cd version fool you, this song has a mesmerizing dance groove and so much rock potential that it will kill live. Fact! If you are standing within a 20 foot radius of me when this song comes on in the Garden, don’t be surprised if my foot finds its way into your rectum as I kick it into high gear. You’ve been warned.

Category: Best answer given for a ridiculous question (What do rock stars smell like?) asked from a Facebook Fan?

And the Oscar goes to: Adam Clayton, Y’all.

Adam just drips of sex, poise & humor. Ripping off fragrance combos that puts my Witch Hazel/Aqua Velva concoction to shame. The poshest member of U2 just grabbed the fragrance industry and said, “Scratch & sniff this!”

Category: Best U2 Moment of 2014

And the Oscar goes to: The Haters trying to figure out how to delete SOI off their phones.

Other than the birth of my son, I am hard pressed to find something that warmed my heart more than watching the haters blowing up all over social media trying to figure out how to dismantle the atomic bomb known as SOI! U2 wants to focus on the bazillion people that received this free gift, listened to it and kept it….not me! I’m not Bono. I like to live below the noise and beneath the din, where the haters like to troll. I can only hope U2 finds away to embed Songs of Experience into everyone’s soul, when it get released. NIRVANA!

Do yourselves a favor, forget the Oscars and throw on You’re guaranteed to get a winner every time.

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An avid U2 fan, who doesn't take our group too seriously. Sixth grade teacher, married and have an 8 year old boy who is also a huge fan...he didn't have a choice.

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