168 hours straight! All U2 & nothing but U2, could you listen for 168 hours straight? Before you rip out your abacus to do the math, that’s 7 days and 7 nights of nothing but U2. If your answer is yes, it doesn’t make you more of a fan, it just simply means that you are completely………INSANE! That’s right, a certified nut. I mean, seriously, how long must we sing these songs?
A podcaster, Jessy Carey did just that. In an attempt to raise money for building a well in developing nations, Jesse listened to 168 straight hours of Nickleback. “Hey Jesse, ever hear of the Build a well for Bono’s birthday with the African Well Fund?” It’s simple, you just write a check! I’m a betting man and I bet if the people in Ethiopia heard what you put yourself through with listening to Nickleback day and night for a week, they’d choose to go thirsty rather than watch you torture yourself listening to Nickleback. Are we having fun, yet???? The answer is…NO!
Now, I believe we’re all in agreement that U2 is infinitely better than Nickleback. Hell, even the members of Nickleback would admit to that but getting back to the question at hand. Could you listen to U2 straight every waking moment for an entire week? The easy answer would be to say, “Sure I could, I love U2,” but let’s explore this lunacy a little more before we embark on such an adventure, because as always, the devil is in the details.
Do you have any idea how taking on this endeavor may be the craziest/dumbest thing you’ve ever done? It’s destruction, terror and mayhem all wrapped up into one week. Some days will be better than others, but by day 3, is where your will for survival will hit your troubles right between the eyes. GUARNATEED!
Here are the reasons why NO ONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND SHOULD EVER ATTEMPT THIS:
1. Assuming you’ll be listening 16 hours a day, songs would eventually begin to repeat. Can you honestly tell me that if you heard the dance version of I’ll Go Crazy, along with Wild Honey multiple times, you wouldn’t run head first into the wall? If you wouldn’t, then you’re already insane and there is nothing society can do for you.
2. Passengers would have to be part of the loop. Stop the madness and shoot me now.
3. Did you think about the emotional roller coaster of a ride you’d be on for the week? High one moment, melancholy & low the next. You would enter the week somewhat normal and leave being manic. Bi-polar times infinity. No thank you.
4. Assuming random play, can you envision sitting down for a quiet family dinner around day 3 and Vertigo, The Fly, SBS, Elevation, UTEOTW & Mofo coming on back to back? Goodbye quiet dinner. In the fray, someone’s getting a fork in the eye and mashed potatoes everywhere. Just some food for thought.
5. By day 4, guaranteed you turn into a complete conspiracy theorist. Coincidences are bound to occur. While getting dressed to go out to shovel, Get on your Boots comes on. You go out shoveling, White as Snow comes on. During an intimate moment with your loved one, Seconds comes on. If you are taking a bath and Drowning Man comes on, call 911 immediately.
6. By day 5, you actually believe that Bono is talking directly to you, meaning you are One Step Closer to strait jacket city.
7. Around day 6, after numerous listens, you begin to think that Duals is not such a train wreck after all. At this time, an intervention should be immediately called for by your loved ones.
8. By day 7, you will have lost all hope of any rationale thinking. You’ll begin designing posters for the upcoming tour that read: “Please play Return of the Stingray Guitar, it’s my favorite” or “Achtung Baby sucked, play more NLOTH!”
I’m all for raising money for charities, but not at the cost of losing your mind. Do the easy thing and cut them a check. They’ll appreciate it and so will your family. Remember, they hate U2 and aren’t psychotic like you. 😉