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Did you know that today, June 29th is International Mud Day?  Of course you didn’t, you have a life.

“Compromise, it’s not a dirty word!” Bono 2001. When the king of wishful thinking tells the world that compromise is not a dirty word, the world better clean up their act and listen. Bono knows a little something about compromise, like how not to. Being a good politician takes more than bribes and kickbacks, it takes the ability to know when to hold em and know when to fold em, and many politicians have folded under the lights of a stretch car named Bono. He has the ability to compromise presidents out of billions of dollars and make you think he’s doing you a favor. The compromises struck between Bono and some of the most famous and influential people in our world are legendary. For example, the compromise between Bono and President Bush was that America will cancel the debt of every African nation for the next 6000 years and in return Bono would let Bush take a picture with him. Another classic compromise was when Bono got Pope John Paul to put a good word in to the man who made the seven from Heaven, so that Bono would let Pope John wear his glasses. Larry Mullen Jr. compromised with Bono the second he put that bulletin board notice up at Mount Temple. Bono took charge, and Larry got to stay in the group he began. Compromise may not be a dirty word, but is U2 mild and green and squeaky clean? Hell no. So, get on your boots and let’s get this dirty day started.  Here are the top 5 U2 “dirty” references.

5. Throw a rock in the air, you’re bound to hit someone guilty – Dirty Day. When some abandoned wife begins to sling some mud in the air hoping to hit her deadbeat husband, who hasn’t paid child support, I hope it lands squarely on his sorry ass of a face. There’s nothing muddier than family relationships, but when dads don’t step up to meet their financial, ethical, moral and legal obligations, then they deserve to be dragged through the mud. I don’t know you and you don’t know the half of it, but what I do know is that kids need their dads, and if you’re not going to be there, then at least leave your wallet.

4. Out of the miry clay – 40.  I’m confused, are we supposed to get out of the miry clay only to get stuck together with God’s glue? I always thought that if God originally set my feet on the rock in the first place, he wouldn’t have had to waste his time getting me out of the miry clay.  Who hasn’t felt like they’re not moving, stuck in a moment, that sometimes they can’t make it on their own, walk on, hasn’t found what they’re looking, has no desire, feels bad and are looking for the miracle drug known as Xanax & Wine? Only me? Oh, then carry on.

3.  You’re in the mud, in the maze of her imagination – Beautiful Day. Guys, you think you can figure her out when you can’t even replace a roll of toilet paper? Child, please. There is no map or compass to guide you through the maze of her imagination and she knows it. That’s why they own us. You can go dancing barefoot or get on your boots, either way, whichever way you choose, you’ll still be knee deep in mud and end up more confused than ever. Ladies, be gentle and kind with us – we’re guys, and we’re stupid.

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2.  Across the fields of mourning – A Sort of Homecoming. Listen, I don’t care if its mourning, noon or night, either way, if there’s some cow dung to step in, you’ll find it. Wrong mourning? Is there a right morning? I’m a morning guy and I’m here to tell you, stay in bed, you’re missing nothing. The fields are always mourning: too much water, not enough water, too hot, dry, too many pesticides, drought, global warming, blah, blah, blah. It’s time we forgot about the fields of mourning and eat only processed foods. We need to get fatter. Farmers and farmland are so 1970. It’s time to get out of the mud and into higher cholesterol and diabetes. Who’s in?

1.  Get your head out of the mud, baby – Zooropa. A great line from a great song. U2 could have easily said, “Get your head out of your ass, baby” but chose not to. Who hadn’t had their head in the mud, hiding from the realities of life? 99% of my day is with my head in the mud. Job, kid, wife, bills, house, boss, no new U2 music in 5 years – why take my head out of the mud?  The person who coined the phrase, “Ignorance is bliss,” was one smart mofo.  Do yourself a favor, put flowers in the mud, baby, overground, and then go stick your head back in the mud.  ;)

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