You gotta love U2 fans. This past week, Boston’s own, Harmonix, the creator of Rock Band, stated that U2 will be a part of Rock Band 4, sending U2 nation into a lathered frenzy. Ironically, fans of the most ironic band, still have rotary phones in their homes, AOL email addresses and only know how to play free cell on their Commodore 64’s. You know why most U2 fans weren’t upset about the Apple drop last year…because most U2 fans are in their 40’s & 50’s and are still using flip phones. Calm down people, you didn’t even know Rock Band 1, 2 or 3 even existed and the last time you played a video game, was a pinball game that cost a quarter at the county fair, where the cashier only had three teeth. All of a sudden, U2 gets associated with Rock Band and everyone turns into a “Pinball Wizard?” By the way, a little heads up, Rock Band 4 won’t plug into your Atari and they’re not called joysticks, anymore. U2’s, I Will Follow and Cedarwood Road will be part of the song list on Rock Band 4….no dance version of I’ll Go Crazy???
Listen, Rock Band 4 is going to sell, regardless of U2 fans, but if you want me to “dish out my hard earned out on a rock” band game, I need this biatch spiced up, U2 style. You miss a chord, your hair falls out, like Edge. You miss a beat, you get a drumstick stuck up your Yahweh. You miss a bass line, you have to chug 12 beers until you pass out face first and miss playing a gig….wait, what?
U2 fans, do yourself a favor, save your money and go snatch up the latest GQ Magazine with Eve, Bono’s daughter in it posing in a naughty nightie…and remember, stay away from your joysticks. 😉