The only thing hotter right now than U2 is the Kung Pao Chicken I had the other night. Follow that up with about 22 Peking Raviolis and a couple of Scorpion bowls and needless to say, I was good to go. Then, I opened up my fortune cookie and it read: “You too, will have a beautiful day!” You would have thought I just traversed the Great Wall of China by my reaction. I asked my waitress if she knew U2 or what this meant and she said something to me in broken English that I cannot repeat, but needless to say, she was not impressed. Another hater…Chinese style.
I am not sure that the inventor of these little sayings created this one inadvertently or is there some dude in China creating ridiculously stupid puns like the ones I come up with on a weekly basis. If so, I don’t want to meet him… I NEED to meet him.
Anyways, it got me thinking, what other U2 sayings could be thrown into fortune cookies and why isn’t Guy Oseary on this??? Forget Social Media, that’s for amateur hour. It’s time to step up the cookie game. Think about it, do you know how many people live in China, at least a gazillion, right? Talk about easy, cheap publicity. Before long, the 88 million people that have experienced Songs of Innocence will be like a drop in the ocean. 88 million is like 1 Chinese village.
Here is a quick list of U2 fortunes that could be thrown into Chinese fortune cookies worldwide. Shark Tank, here I come.
U2 say: “We get to carry each other,” especially after 5 Scorpion Bowls!
Adam of U2 say: “Don’t be a pain in the bass!”
Larry from U2 says nothing.
The Edge from U2 knows how to pull the strings.
When Bono takes extra long nap, it’s like he’s in a glaucoma!
U2 say: “See China right in front of you,” especially in Wal-Mart.
Larry from U2 Mullen over new tour.
Bono from U2 sometimes so cheesy, many consider him to be a Hong Kong Phooey!
Paul McGuiness, U2’s old manager ate a lot. He really like to “Taiwan on.”
U2 not as big as Beatles??? Want to make a “Tibet?”
Like any Chinese meal, you’re hungry for more after just these 10. You know you want to….add on and may good fortune reach you all.