Up, Periscope

So, have you been following the U2 shows on Periscope? Of course, you have. What’s better than being in Europe, watching a grainy U2 show from half way around the world at 3:00 AM and being an absolute zombie the following day? Nothing! In the tech world that we now live in, it’s now possible to see every U2 show, every U2 night. I haven’t been this excited since watching scrambled porn back in the early 80’s. Stop, you know you did, too. So, being able to see each show, via Periscope obviously has its pros and cons, but for today’s U2 lecture boys and girls, I want to focus on this new phenomenon, known as Periscope.

For those of you still playing free cell or solitaire on your computers or still have an AOL email address, there is a relatively new app called, Periscope. This innovative app allows an individual to show the world, an event in real time. It’s like Face timing the world. Great, where do I sign up, you say? Hold on. my little Meerkat, not so fast.

If you’re expecting front row viewing to every U2 show, via Periscope….WRONG! Thus far, I’ve watched shows from every viewpoint possible, from the front row to the concession stand. It’s also important to remember, that you are at the mercy of the user who is holding the phone. If you are expecting a two hour steady stream of awesomeness, think again. You try having a steady hand, while watching the best group in the world, live. NOT HAPPENING! If I didn’t know any better, I would think that every Periscope user was having an epileptic fit. I’ve gotten motion sickness watching some U2 shows on Periscope….and I was lying down in my own bed!

Also, being at the will of the user, in a word….sucks! Not every user is shooting the entire show, which requires you to jump to multiple Periscope users. Think of it as speed dating, Periscope style. Looking to strictly follow Bono on stage or hoping to see all the exceptional graphics….forget about it. Again, you see what the user sees. If you have some perv at the helm and he’s doing nothing but following hotties moving and grooving their way through, Desire (not that there’s anything wrong with that), that’s what you’ll see. Another annoying aspect of Periscope is the fact that people can type in their mental minutia, which totally destroys your viewing pleasure. My fellow Periscopers, NO ONE CARES WHERE YOU ARE WATCHING THE SHOW FROM! Hey look, Swaziland is in the house. Hearing the show via Periscope would also be so much better, if the people surrounding the user…WOULD SHUT THE F*CK UP! “OMG, it’s Bono….There’s BONO!…BONOOOOOOOOOOO! I love you, Bono!!!!!” Meanwhile, Song for Someone…Destroyed!

Now, I know what you’re thinking, Joe are you going to Periscope the Boston shows? Let me be as succinct and as clear as possible…..HELL, NO! You think I’m going to hold up my phone up for an entire concert, so that Igor in Siberia can enjoy? Child, please. No offense, my little Siberian Bear. I’m planning on being too excited and drunk to be worrying about whether or not my 3.5 Twitter followers are enjoying my executive producing of the U2 show. On top of that, do you have any idea how difficult it is to hold a beer in one hand, a phone in the other and balance someone on your shoulders? Maybe, twenty years ago, but not now.

Finally, fellow U2radio.com contributor Brooke and I are throwing the idea of doing a Periscope wrap up after the 1st Boston show. Of course, I’m saying that now while I’m sober and of sound mind. Who knows what the night will bring? I could easily find myself in handcuffs that night and you know what that means…DOWN PERISCOPE!

* On a side note, if you are not following Tim Neufeld on Twitter, who, btw, does the best wrap up shows from his Crystal Ballroom on Periscope, you’re missing out. He’s the best in the Periscope business and I highly recommend checking him out.

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An avid U2 fan, who doesn't take our group too seriously. Sixth grade teacher, married and have an 8 year old boy who is also a huge fan...he didn't have a choice.

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