What If U2 Goes Gansta, Yo?


Is the word “Shidizzle” in the Bible?  Did Matthew ever call Jesus “Phat” or “Dope”?  If he did, did Jesus turn the other cheek or did he kick him in his Leviticus?  Can Bono work the Kadashians into his lyrical ways?  If he’s looking to reach his younger audience, he best be ripping out his thesaurus, cuz Homie don’t play dat!  You feelin’ me?

We may need to rethink all this talk about going after the younger audience and relevance. Have we really thought this through? The sweetest melody that we haven’t heard yet may need to come with a translator. Have you been around kids these days?  If not, you need to get the “down low” or is it the “low down” about the linguistics of today.  This isn’t your Bee Gee’s Jive Talking either, this is the full in your grill Lavern & Shirley, “Schlemeel, schlemazel, hasenfeffer incorporated” new lingo. Unless Bono figures this out, it truly will be the blind leading the blonde when it comes to deciphering this smack down.  Fo real! Today’s posse ain’t runnin’ to jump your swag, if you ain’t styling, because that’s just cray cray. Word!

As older U2 fans, are we truly ready to share our group with a generation that thinks that TMZ is a legitimate news source?  Or one who knows where the Kadashians live, but couldn’t locate where Kazakistan is on a map? ( I checked a map before I wrote that last line) ;). We better be ready, because that’s what U2 wants.

Playing in a bomb crater in Sarajevo was easier than what they’re up against with today’s fickle teens, tweens and everything in between.

How do you connect to a younger audience that is more interested in visibility than vision?  Swag than Scripture? Feeling the beat rather than feeling the lyrics? That is the $64,000 question. The bigger question is, “How does U2 do this while not alienating the generation that gave them such a great life?”  I swear if I see someone twerking at a U2 show, I’m gonna take my Wrecking Ball and pop a cap in that ass! I’m sorry, but part of me is not ready for what comes next. I’m not ready for the push towards a younger audience. If I tried to twerk, the orbit of my hips would put be in traction for a week!  Is there some middle ground here that we can meet half way?  Compromise, it’s not a dirty word, but most lyrics on today’s radio are, so now what?  Is there enough room in a song for swerve and Scripture? Are we ready for Bono to ad lib his way through Mysterious Ways – “Johnny hops into his pimpin’ ride with his sister the hoe, that flashed her moon,” or “If you walk away, walk away, I will follow you at #U2jamsthemoldyoldies,” just to reach a younger audience?

The younger audience wants fast in your face lyrics. They want it quick & direct. If they get stuck in a moment trying to figure out how it’s possible to see China right in front of them when they’re not even in Asia, game over.  With texting, face time, Instagram, Snap Chat, Facebook & Twitter, there is no such thing as an Unknown Caller to this generation.   Also, you can forget about hearing any metaphors and similes on the new CD. Kids today don’t know that “The air is heavy, heavy as a truck” is a simile, they just think it’s a horrific line like the rest of us. We’re dealing with intellectual tortoises that are use to moving from 1 hit wonder to 1 hit wonder in a flash , so I think the days of delving into lyrical discussions may be behind us.  Playing in a bomb crater in Sarajevo was easier than what they’re up against with today’s fickle teens, tweens and everything in between.  Will they be able to pull it off?

We’ll know soon enough, Yo.  Tru Dat!  😉

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An avid U2 fan, who doesn't take our group too seriously. Sixth grade teacher, married and have an 8 year old boy who is also a huge fan...he didn't have a choice.

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