U2 Fans Smarten Up!


Apparently U2 fans are smart a**es! Noiseaddicts.com conducted a study a while back comparing SAT (Standardized Achievement Tests) scores and music preferences, and the results are interesting, to say the least. Being a teacher, I know better than to put too much stock into testing, especially the SAT, which is given on a Saturday morning to a bunch of hung over high school juniors, nevertheless, these results are very telling. As you can tell from the chart, there are only four groups where listeners have a higher average SAT score than U2 listeners. That number would have shot up to about 40 groups had my SAT score been included in the study.

musicthatmakesyoudumbHad my SAT scores been included, Lil’ Wayne listeners would have looked like Mensa candidates. What is it that make U2 fans smarter than the average Tool…fan? I have a couple of theories. First & foremost, U2 is one of the most abstract bands of all time. Having a PhD in lyrical analysis would get most of us one step closer to knowing what the hell Bono is singing about, but since most of us don’t have a PhD, the lyrics require years of intense study. Secondly, U2’s love for social justice issues challenges to their fans to open up their maps, as well as their hearts to locate both, in order to discover what the hell is going on in the world.

According to the research, U2 fans scored about 100 points higher than the average SAT score, and 200 points higher than Bon Jovi, meaning Bon Jovi fans are not only living on a prayer, they’re probably living on minimum wage.  What else does the data tell us:

That while U2 fans see china right in front of them, Lil’ Wayne fans probably see paper plates.

U2 fans see the world in green & blue, Garth Brooks’ fans see blackouts due to hanging out with all their friends in low places.

U2 fans watch the tuna boats clear the sea out from their catamaran, Kelly Clarkson fans are eating Sunkist tuna right from the can in aisle three.

U2 fans are always in a positive state of mind, Billy Joel fans are in a New York State of Mind wondering why it’s taking three hours to get from Union Square to Central Park, about five miles away.

U2 fans live in luminous times, while AC/DC fans are back in black because they can’t afford to pay their electric bills.

Don’t get too cocky my U2 fans, if I’m so smart, how come I don’t know who the hell Guster & Sufjan Stevens are, two artists whose fans that have a higher average SAT SCORE than U2 fans?  If I’m so smart, why can’t I figure out how Counting Crow fans have higher SAT score averages than U2 fans? The two Counting Crow fans that I know personally have done so much dope, I’m not sure if they could even spell SAT.

The bottom line here is that we’re not as smart or as dumb as we think we are. I am living proof that there are exceptions to every rule. However, there is something to be said about our musical preferences. It says, we like to listen to certain music and that’s it, not how smart or dumb you think you are.  If the educational system were to only use SAT scores to measure intelligence, then I probably would have been lobotomized years ago. So, walk out into that sunburst street and sing your heart out, but make sure it’s not a Lil Wayne song, because that’s just stupid.  😉


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An avid U2 fan, who doesn't take our group too seriously. Sixth grade teacher, married and have an 8 year old boy who is also a huge fan...he didn't have a choice.

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