U2 Gets “Into the Groove!”


Are you still convinced that the wrong “Guy” is causing a commotion?  Neatly fold up your speculation and pack up your conspiracy theories, U2 fans, because I am about to bring you to a place none of us have been, a place that has to be believed to be seen; U2s new CD track-list. While the posers are listening to U2s propaganda machine idle in neutral and playing with their stick shifts, Ive gone on a covert mission to uncover the Holy Grail of track-lists. In a move that’s more sinister than sinister itself, Guy Oseary has green-lighted a combo package that puts peanut butter & chocolate to shame. The morph master has combined old with the new by combining his two biggest clients (Madonna & U2) into one big, megalomaniac package of monster jams.  While McGuiness was playing checkers, overseeing 2nd rate CD’s like Joshua Tree & Achtung Baby, Oseary & his production team have been playing chess in a league of their own, combining the Kings of Rock with the Queen of rolling in the gutter with every Dick Tracy she could find.  Checkmated!  Bean me up, Captain & Tennille, we haven’t seen a duo like this since Sean Penn & Teller or Daryl Hall & that other guy.  Forget about seeing China right in front of you, this Shanghai Surprise will have you into the groove & hungry for more after 15 minutes of listening.  You wanted it and I delivered it, the new U2 CD track-list.  It’s like a prayer has been answered. I believe this CD was produced at Like a Virgin Island Records. 

If You Wear That Velvet Dress You U

Die Another Dirty Day

No Borderline on the Horizon

Ill Go Crazy For You, If I Dont Go Crazy Tonight

Justify My Love is Blindness

Beautiful Day Stranger

Whos That Big Girls are Best

Rescue a Day Without Me

Lucky North Star

Forbidden Love Rescue Me

Bedtime Stories for Boys

Devil Wouldn’t Recognize With or Without You

To Have and Not to Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me

Trash, Trampoline and the Material Girl

Ultraviolet (Ray of light my way)

The haters will call this a delay tactic to give Bono more time to figure out which emotion he hasn’t written about yet.  I suggested apathy, but Guy stated that Bono couldn’t care less about apathy.  Your curiosity about this project would kill 10 An Cat Dubhs, I know. So stop doubting if U2 has the right “Guy” in place – he has illustrated that he has vision quest over visibility!  😉

*If you found at least 20 Madonna references in this post, then Take a Bow.  😉

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An avid U2 fan, who doesn't take our group too seriously. Sixth grade teacher, married and have an 8 year old boy who is also a huge fan...he didn't have a choice.

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