U2, meet Nostradamus. Nostradamus, this is U2. You remember Nostradamus, the French guy who told Josephine to beware of small men with big ideas and made other wacky predictions that were so cryptic that no one could really tell what the hell he was talking about. Know any lead singers like that? (Where exactly is your blue room?).
Well, apparently something U2 said figuratively a quarter of a century ago is coming into fruition. You recall that infamous, “Four guys chopping down the Joshua Tree” bit that Bono uttered referring to the new sound of Achtung Baby, well apparently the literal has overtaken the figurative and the infamous Joshua Trees are dying. Only this time, it’s not 4 guys with axes (that’s just a heart attack in the making), it’s Mother Nature that has the axe to grind. The root cause of the tree “leaving” is drought. U2 take note. You see, in the howling wind, comes a stinging rain, unless you live in a DESERT! According to ecologist Ken Cole, the Joshua Trees haven’t had a hit of water in years, are you listening Bono?
Climate change has also been to blame for the demise of these classics. U2 meet social media. Each year, many U2 fans branch out and make the long trek out to no man’s land, stare at the sun in 100+ temperatures and hurdle the scorpions on the ground beneath their feet to… to…to…why is it they go out there again? Oh yeah, to feel the spiritual connection that U2 felt, but most of the wanderers walk away with a third degree sunburn, heat exhaustion, and a scorpion bite on their Billy Boola. Van Dieman’s Land is Club Med compared to America’s southwest.
Anyway, dreaming beneath the desert sky are what these trees have been doing for centuries, but now it appears their dream is turning into a nightmare and they’re one step closer to extinction, unless something drastically changes and quick. Some scientists predict that 90% of the trees will be gone (Hutch, hear me) sorry, by the year 2100, just in time for the release of U2’s 14th studio album.
Also, according to Cole, “Joshua trees are only pollinated by the yucca moth, which, in turn, produces larvae that only eat the plant’s seeds. A Nature Conservancy study has found that the moth can’t survive in warmer temperatures, which spells doom for Joshua trees.” Can’t you give a moth butterfly kisses or mouth to moth resuscitation? Interestingly enough, the trees at higher elevations, which are moister and cooler, seem to be weathering the storm. Apparently shadows and tall Joshua trees have a better chance of survival the higher they go.
So, what does this all mean for U2 fans journeying to the land of silver and golden hot sand dunes? It’s f*cking hot in the desert. You want to help the Joshua Tree, stay home. The last thing the trees need are some U2 tree hugging fans with their cameras out there trouncing through their ecosystems. Of course, a lot of rain could help, as well.