cup-of-joe

Did you know that tomorrow, May 12th is National Limerick Day? Of course you didn’t – neither did I. In honor of the limerick, a 5 line humorous poem that follows the AABBA rhyming pattern, and all you Mofo’s out there on this Mother’s Day, I present for your reading pleasure, an ode to the U2 limerick. Commenters, add on.

1)  Mofo is what you are and such a deserving name

You should be called it and you should feel shame

You’ve been around the back & been around the front with your pole

looking to stick it in every God shaped hole

If you come down with some new Asian virus Juju man, you’re to blame!

2)  Lemon was the color of her dress

It is not a favorite songs, I must confess

When Bono does his falsetto, I plug my ears with my thumbs

It sounds as if he got kicked in his Irish plumbs

For me, Lemon is one U2 song that’s a sticky mess!

3)  Stuck in a moment is where you are and such

Sitting from 9-5 has made you fat because you eat too much

Sure, you dream of being up with the sun

But you can’t jump because you now weigh a ton

Keep eating INXS and soon you too will Gone like HUTCH!

4)  At this time, it is 11:00 o’clock tick tock

On this Dirty Day, in the air I threw a rock

It fell in mysterious ways on someone’s head

Now I feel Bad because they are dead

“Now only 2 to a bed,” Sister Ann she said!

5)  Being ridiculous is something I hold dear

So One day, at the sun I decided to stare

This won’t hurt, so I thought

Now my retinas & purple irises are shot

Now the blond is leading the blind or so I hear.

6)  Up with the sun is where I wanted to be

Elevation was needed so I climbed a tree

I found a suitable one at one tree hill

As I jumped, I thought what a thrill

Until a branch poked my eyes out & I can no longer see.

7)  The Playboy Mansion is a great & wonderful place

One girl in particular had an incredibly beautiful face

But her body was huge and this is no jest

She told me proudly that big girls are best

Along with shame & sorrow went three cheeseburgers down her gullet without a trace.

8)  Saturday night I spent partying with trash, trampoline & the party girl

The Xanex & Wine made me feel like I was about to hurl

I needed a miracle drug the next morning to make me feel keen

They wanted more than a party, if you know what I mean

My morning breath would make a kite unfurl.

9)  I thought, I’ll go crazy if I don’t go crazy tonight

Boredom was setting in, so I had to put up a fight

It was a hill not a mountain when I got started

Breaking the monotony, I broke wind and farted

Pity the nation, because I squeezed out sparks of light.

10)  I will follow a girl named Grace

Pale as the dirty snow was her face

I stalked the ground beneath her feet

This guy is Out of Control was her last tweet

That’s why, ladies, you should always carry mace.

Happy Mother’s Day to all you MOFO’S